Most people have not had a great sex education. This is the leading cause of a struggling sex life. Add to that having a different brain. It's ok if you need different ways to enjoy sex, to stay interested, to initiate, to be present in the moment, and/or to relax.
If you don't have good boundaries, you may feel taken advantage of often. You may not speak up about what you do and don't like. You may not even know what you do or don't like.
Sensitivities to smells, sounds, touch, words, & tastes, can distract you from pleasure.
If you don't feel connected to your partner, you may have no desire for sex.
Unresolved issues and resentment are desire and arousal killers.
Some clients see me because they can't orgasm, they struggle with having or maintaining an erection, or they think there is something wrong with them sexually. Most of the time, if there is nothing physically wrong, we get to the root of the issue and they learn how to feel and enjoy pleasure.
One common problem is regular use of substances like alcohol, cigarettes or drugs, even cannabis. At first they may seem pleasant, but regular use will dull your pleasure centre, make orgasms much more difficult, and can mess with erections. The issues is mostly that these substances reduce blood flow and impact hormones negatively.